Markers and Glue

Here's how my weekend trip went down:

I did successfully finish the most boring paper in the world before I left town. EPA policy is actually kind of interesting, but the way I needed to write about it felt like the world's longest book report. At any rate, I finished that bad boy right before getting into the car and heading for Iowa.

Ahh yes, Iowa. I grew up there, mostly... aside from that foray into Oregon (that's another post, I'm sure). This weekend I went to see Beans and her fam in North Central Iowa. Off I went, into the corn... the trip was great. I don't know why I like road trips so much. Part of it was excitement over seeing the Bean again. I'd been looking forward to going ever since we made the plan. I also love long drives because it gives me some uninterrupted time to think. A little time to reflect on life, you know. I also turned 36 last week, another cause for thinking about the past, and the future. I really love school, but I tend to get pretty myopic about the whole thing. I shouldn't hone in on just one thing like that - it's not really healthy - but I like to say that I'm not obsessed, I'm just focused....

So anyway, there I was, thinking about things, singing at the top of my lungs, occasionally listening to my GPS tell me where to go - I love that thing. I really do. When I make a wrong turn, it doesn't even bother to say "Recalculating..." which is great, because it would say that all the time (I make a lot of wrong turns. Hence the need for the GPS). I did eventually make it to the casa of Beans and Co. It was such a beautiful day that we went to sit on the porch, where two things immediately struck me. Watching her boys play on the hill reminded me of when we used to run around her yard when we were kids. Things change, but they really don't, you know? Incidentally, this was also the nature of my second realization. She pointed out the zip line that they had set up in the back yard. I may have giggled internally, at that point. Many of you may know that I am an honorary member of the Upah family - they have a zip line in their back yard as well. Tom and I have been pretty close friends for about fifteen years, and over the weekend I was struck several times at how similar my two friends are, though I know they have never met.

Isn't it funny, how we choose our friends? And isn't it funny which friendships actually last? So many times in my life, mostly when I was younger, I sought out who I thought were the "right" people to make friends with. Then I would try to be someone that I wasn't - which never seemed to work out. It turns out that the right people have seemed to show up on their own. I didn't seek either of these two out, and I don't remember in either case when we became friends, but both of them have had a great impact on me. Life is what happens when you're busy making other plans, I guess...

And I digress. I got to meet husband Kevin and the teeny peeps (does that sound like a band name?), and the kids are quite cute in person. I had a lot of fun with them, actually. I always wonder what kids will make of me - I wear funny shoes, I have funny hair, and I also came adorned with a Band-Aid on my forehead this weekend (that's another story). But it all worked out just fine. Max (7) and I passed notes on Saturday night, much like his mom and I used to do back in the day. He wanted to know the basics of his mom's friend - where I lived, background ethnicity, that sort of thing. We exchanged some pertinent information - he's quite smart with words and he likes to hunt squirrels. Zach is 6, appears to dislike rhubarb, and is missing his two front teeth. I did get to see one of the teeth. I always kept my teeth too... Will is 4, and possibly the most expressive kid that I know. Over the weekend, I think I watched him use every single muscle in his face. Mya is 2. She was a little shy at first, but she warmed up to me after a while. We put some puzzles together on the floor, and I loved it. I have quite a few nephews, honorary and otherwise, but only one niece so far. She's quite smart, as well... Kevin and I didn't share too much conversation, but it's pretty clear how much he loves his family.

And the Beans? Well, what can we say about the Beans? I did not recall how much of a smartass she is. How could I have forgotten this? Perhaps I blocked it out... At any rate, one of the high points of the weekend was just trying to keep up with her. It was interesting - usually, I'm the one making people laugh. This weekend, I wasn't the only one...

We laughed a lot. We told as many stories as we could in the time allotted. We went through some of her family pictures, and found a few photos of the four of us at one of her birthday parties. In a couple of them, I am rocking a particularly fabulous sweater vest. I would describe it here, but it has to be seen to be believed. And I'm sure that it will be posted somewhere...

Here's something I didn't know about Bean in 1986: she's one hell of a cook. Seriously. I have never eaten like that, ever. Of course, my basis of comparison is me - and I just learned how to make popcorn. So perhaps I am biased in these statements - but I don't really care. We ate things I would never think of making, and they were all fantastic. She is also an encyclopedia of food knowledge - everything you've always wanted to know about food, but your mouth was full, so you were too polite to ask. I think I gathered enough information to be very afraid of anything that has been partially hydrogenated.

After the teeny peeps fell asleep, we diverted to the computers for a while. Beaner had some small things that needed to be done, and it was my pleasure to try and help out. I think it helped me more than it helped her - it has been a long time since my IT talent has really helped anyone directly. It was a nice reminder that I do have some skills that really help people, that I am in school again for a bigger purpose. I sorely needed that - it's been a hell of a semester!

And then we chatted deep into the night. I might have fallen asleep in the middle of a sentence - I'm not sure. I think we at least covered the major highlights of the last twenty years. Besides, you don't want to bring all your baggage on the first trip - it sucks to have to check it in. ;)

It turns out that I found Bean just as I had left her, with her feet planted firmly on the Earth. When we were kids, I was always so concerned about what people thought of my family, because we didn't have much. Now I wish I hadn't measured myself by such harsh terms. (My best friend didn't.) And now I get another chance to reconnect with something a little more important. I guess we shared more than markers, in those days...

The moral of the story? Be careful who you share your markers with, obviously ;). I walked away on Sunday with a lighter heart, a better outlook on the last few weeks of school and a brand new set of emotional attachments. I came back home to find out that Jazz actually ate something this time, while I was away - she usually doesn't. She was pretty glad to see me, though. I also arrived buttcheek deep in homework. The final push has begun - and the light at the end of the tunnel is not a train - I hope.

That's all, Gentle Readers. Happy Holidays, whichever ones you choose to celebrate.

What is the world coming to?

Don't try this at home, kids.

http://www.recipesource.com/main-dishes/meat/pork/spam/00/rec0018.htm

This Thanksgiving season, I'm grateful that I will not be eating any kind of chopped pork shoulder for dinner. At least, I don't think I will be....

Random Post, with Holiday Overtones

Bob Donlan painted this for me a couple of months ago - I finally found someone with a vehicle big enough to help me haul it home from the framers. Incidentally, free canvasses are never really free. I got this canvas from work - they were just going to throw it away, so of course I took it off their hands. I figured I would paint on it when I had the time - that was about a year ago, so you can guess what happened. Then my Bob happened by - I've always wanted one of his paintings, because they are so fabulous. The Donlan never disappoints...

I never frame anything, but lately I've been told that looks tacky... so I took this one in to be framed. This is when I learned the true price of a free canvas - it was a really odd size, so it had to be custom framed. Eeek. Had it been a regular size, it would have cost me about 25% as much.

At any rate, I now have a beautiful painting hanging above my head - although, since I was the one that hung it, it's not incredibly stable. We'll see if any injuries transpire.

In other news, I'm feeling a little holiday spirit lately. I have a bit of a love/hate relationship with the holidays - hate the religious aspects, love get-togethers (but it depends on the get-together in question). Tonight I splashed some Egg Nog creamer into my constantly-at-hand great big cup of coffee. My favorite Christmas movie also made it into the DVD player - It's A Wonderful Life. Go ahead, wince. Most of my friends do. I can't help it, though - I love that story. Perception changes everything, doesn't it? I generally put the movie on a loop until Dec 25th. Sometimes others sprinkle in, for the sake of variety, but Jimmy Stewart is my main guy for a while. I might be moved to put up my tree pretty soon - it's been sitting in my coat closet since last year. I love a good tree. Mine is short, like me, and it has mostly blue decorations. Until last year, I hadn't put up a tree for quite a while. No special reason, other than it's a bit of a hassle, and I like real ones better anyway. Last year I decided that these excuses were not good enough, and I'm glad I made that decision.

So - Jazz is looking at me like I'm a little nuts for being up this late. Going to finish my coffee and run off to bed - happy pre-holidays, darlings.

Once again, this post brought to you by Facebook...

Seriously, darlings, how many reunions can one short girl have in a year? Thank you again, creators of Facebook...

Yesterday afternoon, at Stokes in the Old Market, I saw some women I haven't seen in 18(?) years. The four of us were thicker than thieves in elementary school, which in this case was St. Patricks School - ahh, Catholic school. The (repressed) memories... I remember a couple of things about St. Pat's. We used to have to recite prayers in the main entryway three times a day: before school, before lunch, and just before dismissal. We also attended Mass on Wednesdays, before the official school day started. (My dissatisfaction with religion started rather early, as you may have already guessed.)

I started school in Mo. Valley in kindergarten, but due to some strange whims of the parental units, we moved away some time in the first grade. The strange whims ended in the fourth grade, and I returned to St. Pat's. By that time, my class was pretty small - there were just three of us. Of course, St. Pat's was pretty small anyway - so small that they put two grades in each classroom. Dana and Sara were the other two girls in the fourth grade when I came back. Sabrina was a grade below us, but in the same classroom that we had. Actually, I think Beans sat beside me. I can't remember whether it was proximity or fate, but either way, we all became friends.

Coming back to Iowa was interesting for me - I had spent two years away, one in Omaha, and one in Oregon. Actually, the plan was never that we would return to Iowa - my sisters and I were sent to Omaha to spend the summer with our father. Before the summer was out, however, we were informed that we were not returning to Oregon at all. We were all moving back to Mo. Valley, minus stepfather #1.

Our fourth grade teacher was named Mrs. Pitt, and I always had a feeling she didn't like me too much. This certainly could have been because I was always questioning everything. It's a talent that still gets me into trouble. Also, I think it might have been at this point that I decided I didn't like to do things the way everyone else did them. For example, in the fifth grade, I began writing my numbers differently from everyone else. They were the same numbers, just with a few embellishments. I also started my very own business at one point - reselling candy that I had bought at the Kum-n-Go (go ahead, snicker. We sure did). Also, when we made mistakes on our assignments, our teacher (Mrs. Solon) would require us to correct it and hand it back in for a few of the points back. I felt that this was a worthless exercise. This opinion spurred action on my part - every time I got an assignment back, I would add it to the crumpled ball of past assignments I'd been secretly keeping in the coat closet. These were eventually unearthed, and I was sent home, carrying the ball of corrections and a note for my mother. The note made it home, but the corrections didn't. I walked to the top of the hill and set the ball rolling down toward the school - and past Mrs. Solon's car. I figured I was in deep trouble anyway, so why not? You know me - in for a penny, in for a pound...

I really didn't care much for Catholic school. The bright spot was hanging around with my friends. As I remember it, we did just about everything together from the fourth grade until seventh, when Dana, Sara, and I went off to junior high. Random memories from that time include:

• Sara's mom was a really good cook.
• We were all in Camp Fire at one point. One year, we were completely rained out of our summer camp-out. It had been a great time, up to that point.
• We used to play "Light as a feather, stiff as a board" quite a bit on overnight stays. I can't remember what we were trying to accomplish, except that it was sort of a seance thing.
• We listened to an awful lot of Def Leppard in Dana's basement bedroom.
  
• Hair spray was used early and often. Not on me.
  
• Birthday parties were an entire weekend long. Dana and Sara's birthdays were close together in the summertime, and Beans had a birthday in January (26th?) They weren't just birthday parties, they were extravaganzas. We would go into Omaha to eat at one of Beans's father's restaurants (Firmature's? Cheyenne Social Club?) and shop at Westroads. That was a super-huge deal back then.
• Beans had a big family, and they had a cavernous maze of a house. I loved it. Something was always going on. I was extremely shy at the time, and Beans's father would always ask me if I was holding up the wall I was leaning against. I always answered yes.
• Dana shared her basement bedroom with her sister, Erin. Whenever anyone would come down the stairs, Erin would say "Welcome, (your name here)" in a voice that sounded like you were being welcomed into a cult ceremony. It was absolutely hilarious. Actually, I still do that to people.
  
• Dana's house had a breezeway. I thought this was the coolest thing ever. It was like you were outside, but you weren't.
• I saw Risky Business for the first time at Dana's house. I only remember because it was something I wasn't supposed to be doing.
  

All right, I could go on and on here, but you're getting the picture. Though I relished the moment I left St. Pat's forever, I hated leaving Beans behind. I think I wrote her notes for a while, but soon enough I settled into 7th grade, and started hanging out with Brandy and Shawna. We all traveled in different circles in junior high and high school. Dana sat beside me in high school Choir for a few years - we were certainly a force to be reckoned with. We giggled and mocked others, mostly. After graduation, I left Mo. Valley and didn't give it a second thought.

The story picks up three years ago, when my mother died. Her health had been bad for a while, and her extra curricular activities weren't helping at all. It happened pretty fast, and I wandered around in shock for a while. Out of the blue, I got a call from Beans. She'd heard through her family grapevine what had happened. We caught up over the phone that day. A couple of things made an impression on me: first, that someone I hadn't seen in 15 years would take time out to call me and see how I was doing. Second, when we were catching up she said she thought she would have found me in a big city somewhere, like New York. I remember thinking, me too.

That statement, along with the funeral, caused me to step back and take a look at a few things. I wasn't really where I wanted to be, and I knew it. I have always settled for less, simply because I'm afraid to fail in the process of getting what I want out of life. Isn't that silly? Failure isn't final. Self-fulfilling prophecies, on the other hand, are pretty damn final.

Soon after that, another friend approached me with the idea of going to school and getting a better degree. I smiled politely at him, and then when I got home later I laughed out loud. What use do I have for another degree? I mean, come on... Long story short, after a little investigation, I changed my mind on that one. Now I'm right in the middle of the process of changing my life (and getting out of this part of the country). Women in hot places, watch out!

So then half the world friended me on Facebook - including my elementary school cohorts. Dana was the first one I met up with over lunch at Old Chicago - from our first visit, it was clear that lunch was not going to be enough. I have since spent much time giggling with Dana - this has added considerably to my life.

I have to say that I was a little anxious about getting together with all of us - my personality is a bit different these days. I'm much more outspoken and opinionated than the little kid who used to hold up the walls. I never know how people will react to that. Also, there's always the worry that I won't have anything in common with people.

And once again my fears were unfounded. All of my friends are doing well. Sara is teaching and raising a lovely little family in Mo. Valley. Beans is raising a small army of tiny peeps in northern Iowa. Dana and I are the single girls, hanging out here in Omaha. Everyone seems well and happy, and it seems like we'll make this happen again soon.

One thing did occur to me, as we were sitting there, catching each other up. We talked a lot about family, careers, school, etc. It's interesting that I spend so much time hurtling toward goal completion, when it's often the simple things in life that really matter. Whenever I do a reunion like this, I'm always struck by the thought that I need to slow down, enjoy life, and let everyone know that I love them. Seriously.

So. It's late, and I know this because the guy who lives above me has started his nightly guitar practice. He's actually pretty good. Besides, this has gotten a bit sentimental! I don't want anyone to think I'm losing my edge....

Goodnight, darlings. The photo posted below is so you can know what we look like.

Spam spam spam spam...

I have no words for the extraordinary nature of this post. Like the Matrix, one cannot fully understand the nature of Spam. One must experience it for oneself.

http://www.recipesource.com/main-dishes/meat/pork/spam/00/rec0021.html

Halloween

These photos were taken during I shopping trip I made on Sunday. This will be my most unrecognizable costume ever! Those of you that can, join us at the 1020, Oct 31, 9pm or thereabouts. All are welcome... I promise, it will be memorable. And potentially emotionally scarring.

Midnight midterm break

Good evening, Darlings...

I have been informed that if I don't catch up on my blogging, and keep people informed on my whereabouts, then some sort of trouble is headed my way. So then, here it is, the full deets. Well, the partial deets, anyway...

I've been mired in midterms for about a week and a half now, with only a few instances of coming up for air. I love it, and it's an excellent direction to be going in, but it does get jam-packed sometimes. Speaking of colleges...

Many of you know that I went to a small, private college before I went to UNO - Dana College, specifically. At the time, I wanted to be a high school drama teacher, and their program is pretty good there. When I toured Dana, it also occurred to me that I would get a lot more opportunities to do different things - like be on the radio, for instance. Here's how all this went down.

It started with Mom, believe it or not. Due to a number of circumstances, we weren't speaking very much when I graduated from high school. After the ceremony, she asked me if/where I was going to college. I had been accepted at the University of Iowa, but I wasn't absolutely sure I was going to go. I wanted to, but it was a huge school, and I was afraid I would get lost. In a number of ways... Anyway, when she heard that I wasn't exactly sure what I was doing, she got this look in her eye, and she said we'd be touring a school within the week.

This was a bit weird, in itself. I went to humor her, more than anything. If you didn't know Mom, when she got that little glint in her eye, you just did what she said. It was really better that way. She took me to Dana the next week. She had actually considered Dana when my sisters and I were young (I think I was 10) but had decided against it, for financial reasons. I wasn't expecting anything out of the trip, really. I remember that they had a better deal for me than Iowa, financial aid-wise, and that I got a tour of the radio station. There was this extremely tall dude there, with 80's metal band hair. My first impression of Jon was that he seemed very nice, and he was patient with Mom as well. She was quite funny during this trip. I was doing my shy thing at the time, so as I remember it, Mom had more questions than I did. I really liked the radio station. I remember that the inside of it looked like an egg carton, because of the foam sound dampener they had stapled to the walls. Ahhh, memories...

I ended up choosing Dana, after all. Part of it was the radio station, part of it was the theatre program. I figured, and rightly so, that I might get more opportunities to do cool things like that at a smaller school. Though I ended up finishing my undergrad at UNO, my best memories were from Dana. It just seemed like we were more of a family there.

So why am I pondering all this again? This weekend, I took a (very short) break to participate in Dana's Homecoming weekend. I hear there was a football game - I'm sure it was fabulous - but I went down for the KDCV and theatre reunions. The radio station reunion was at ten in the morning. Unfortunately, I had to be at a class at eleven. I almost didn't go, because I knew I would have to leave almost right away. I also knew I would be tempted to skip class entirely, which would have been an utterly bad idea. Also, there seemed to be about a foot of snow on the ground. Snow. Another utterly awful concept. When do I get to move to Phoenix? At any rate, I set off for Dana on Saturday morning, hoping to rediscover some old friends.

I found the radio station, which was right where I had left it. Actually, it looked like the day we moved in - there were no posters on the walls. I found myself wishing we could get into the storage closet and put up a Tragically Hip poster, just for some atmosphere. When I was there, the station was plastered with just about anything we could get our hands on.

I hung out for about fifteen minutes with people I didn't know, chatting about Microsoft (those guys are going down, I'm telling you) when my friends walked through the door. I had seen Jon, Brad and Amy on the list, and I was quite glad to see them. It has been about fourteen years, I guess. A lot happens in fourteen years, especially if you hate sitting still, like I do...

So, I guess I've changed a little bit in the intervening years - my peeps didn't recognize me! Looking back, it's absolutely hilarious - I was sitting in the doorway, and they passed right by me. All sorts of things were going through my mind, including (but not limited to): When did I see these guys last? How did we leave things? Did I say something? Do I have any important clothing items that are unzipped?

None of the above, as it turns out. I'd forgotten that I used to wear glasses, and also that I used to have a ton of hair. At some point, we got up to look through the glass at the studio, and I stood next to Jon. It was at that point that he recognized me. I am here to report, hugging him is still exactly like hugging a tree. With arms. I got to hug Brad and Amy right after that - another good experience. Brad reminded me that we had met when he was the leader of my Orientation group. For Orientation that year we went camping - I'll never forget it. I hadn't been informed of the whole camping thing. Almost the moment I arrived at school, I was told to pack for a camping trip, and that we'd be leaving in an hour. That was almost the end of my college career, I'm telling you - I was intensely shy at that time, and the thought of doing trust falls out in the woods with people I didn't know was less than thrilling. If I could have found a way out of that one, I would have, but I didn't know how to drive. I was quite trapped.

I think I stuck to Brad that weekend - he seemed like a nice guy. I also learned that he worked at the radio station, and that he was friends with the tall Canadian 80's hair guy that I had met. I also received an invitation to sit at the Nerd Table for dinner when we got back - ahhh, the Nerd Table. One could always find a friend to eat with at the Nerd Table. Among my memories, there were many occasions when I would get to laughing so hard that I would turn bright red and not be able to take in oxygen - my friends would stand over me and yell "Breathe!" It only worsened the situation, of course, which made me laugh harder...

The moment I got reacquainted with my peeps, it seemed like I had to leave. I arrived a bit late to class, and as I came in, Dr. P teased me a bit (as I knew she would). I just smiled as I sat down. Even if I had explained where I was, I don't think she would have known the importance of that trip.

Later on in the evening, I returned for the theatre reunion. Again, I met up with people I haven't seen since about 1995 - this set seemed to recognize me, however. Austin and Jennifer were there, as I had hoped they would be. Way back when, we started a cult together - not too many people believe that story, but it's true. The Browns concur! They looked great, and it was cool to connect with them. We snuck into the prop room to look for a particularly realistic bomb that Austin had made once. This item was so realistic, in fact, that when the janitors discovered it on stage late one night, the entire campus was nearly evacuated. We only found part of the bomb - someone had dismantled it. Perhaps the janitors...

Another interesting find was a stack of books that I apparently donated at one time. To be truthful, perhaps it was less a donation and more a result of having no room in the moving truck. I took photos (to be posted later) but I left the books.

I reconnected with my dear friend Sue. It simply has been too long. Much of what we discussed generally does not belong in a public forum, but suffice to say I am looking forward to a more colorful life, now that she is back in it.

We saw Steel Magnolias, which is one of my favorite plays. Dana has some really talented actresses, and there certainly were some highlights throughout the evening. Not just the hair, either... Dr. Schnieder talked with Sue and I after the play, wanting to know what we had been doing. When I gave him my report, he said that he often found that most people eventually put away their theatre experience in favor of different pursuits. While that is true, I also think that my theatrical background taught me to be a much better communicator. It was a huge education in how to convey important information in small amounts of time. And who doesn't need to know how to do that?

So. Long story a tiny bit shorter, it was a trip I sorely needed to take.

Monday morning began with sadness, as I watched my left contact lens (accidentally) wash down the drain... it was my last box. I had to break the glasses out, which was just lovely. It certainly reminded me of my Dana days. I also think that they are the very same glasses, so it was obviously time for a replacement. I went in today - I should have them next week. Photos shall be posted.

Meanwhile, take care of yourselves - I'll try to update more regularly.